


RaBeem: walk in my shoes

by Bekahboodles79



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-10-05 19:30:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20494085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bekahboodles79/pseuds/Bekahboodles79
Summary: Riker is concerned about Trois odd behavior and vows to get to the bottom of what's going on. Deanna is still grieving for the loss of her son, Ian, a fact NOT explored again in the series. Will suggests an ancient Betazoid ritual so that he can better understand what his Imzadi went through and is continuing to go through.The ending bit was a surprise for a friend of mines birthday but she told me to post it as well here so... here ya go.





	1. Chapter 1

He had been observing her for the entirety of their shift. At first he was attempting to be discreet but about halfway through, he had given up all other thoughts. For her part, the lady in question, had been completely oblivious to his attention. Her lovely features were drawn as if in pain; the normally silky curls of chocolate that cascaded from her crown, now lay limp and lifeless about her slender shoulders. The previously form fitting red jumpsuit, now hung a bit more loosely than it had a week ago. Will Riker, the first officer of the USS Enterprise was not the only one who had noticed some of these changes in the petite ships' counselor, Deanna Troi, but he was probably the only person on board who had noticed the other oddities that had begun a couple of weeks ago.  
Alpha shift was nearly over and Will could barely contain the urge to talk with Deanna; he just HAD to find out what was going on. At exactly 16:00 hrs Deanna jumped up from her chair and bolted for the turbolift as if the devil himself were on her tail. Riker barely had time to get out of his seat before she was gone...  
He caught the next lift after a short conversation with his Capt. " Computer location of Counselor Deanna Troi." he asked before giving the lift his destination. "Counselor Troi is currently located on deck 10 Forward station" the near monotone female of the computer intoned. He nodded is head before telling the lift to head to deck 10.  
She had come to the same spot every day for the last week... Ten Forward was quiet at this time of day so that was why she chose to come here... Or at least that was what she told herself. The truth was, she came here because it was one of the few places that didn't remind her; one of the places where she didn't feel like screaming until her throat was raw and her voice was gone. She still felt like crying, but that feeling was a constant companion these days, it went with her everywhere. At least here, he might not find her; at least here he might stay away...no such luck.  
His tall frame leaned against the bar as he watched her from across the room. Her slim shoulders were slumped, she had her legs tucked up beside her, he could tell; and she had been crying. He couldn't see her face, but he could still tell. Just before he began to move, a gentle hand stopped him. He looked up into the wise dark eyes of the hostess, Guinan. "Here Commander, you might wanna take this with you." with that, she handed him a fresh mug of hot chocolate before tilting her head in the direction he was already heading in.  
He crossed the lounge in a few long strides but came up short when she looked up at him with those depthless onyx eyes still glistening with unshod tears. He set the drink down as he sat next to her and attempted to assess the situation. Starfleet training prepared a man for a great many things, a crying female was not one of them. "Come on, let's get you out of here. I'll take you back to your quarters..." she looked a bit apprehensive but ultimately agreed. As the pair walked out of the doors to the lounge, Will caught the eye of the El'Arian hostess. 

Back in Troi's quarters, Commander Riker had walked her over to her sofa and sat her down while he then went to the replicator and ordered a cold glass of water and returned to her side. Handing her the water, his concern etched in his handsome features, he asked the question he had wanted to ask all week... "Deanna, what's going on? What's happening to you?" it wasn't exactly what he had wanted to say, but its what came out... He only hoped she understood the emotions and love behind them... By the look of shock and sudden anger in her eyes, however, it was obvious that was not the case.  
"There's nothing WRONG with me COMMANDER I'm just fine thank you!" gone was the weeping damsel in distress and in her place was the fiery side of his Imzadi, the side he tried very hard never to invoke... So in a " surrender" motion he held up his hands and spoke in a soft tone. " I'm sorry Deanna, my words didn't come out as I had intended. Please come over here and sit with me and lets just talk...ok" his concern over her was evident t and thus caused her crumble, her anger dissipating.  
She sat next to the only man she had ever loved, her tiny frame snuggled next to his side, his arm around her. Her hand, as it had been for the better part of a week especially when sitting, lay gently atop her tiny middle. "Sweetheart, is your stomach bothering you?" he finally had broken their long silence. She looked up in his eyes, confusion clouding her own. "Your hand, you keep holding your hand on your stomach like you're in pain." her next words caught him so off guard, his mouth literally hung open for a moment...  
" I am..."  
"You are? You're in pain ?" he asked. "We should call Dr. Pulaski..." she had begun to cry in ernest now. "Deanna, sweetheart, I can't help you if you don't tell me what hurts or at least let me..." her whispered response gave him pause. "I miss him." at this point, she was curled up on the sofa, her arms wrapped around herself and she had begun to shake slightly. It took him a minute, but finally Will understood... At least he thought he did... He gathered the weeping Betazoid goddess into his arms and held her. "I miss him so much..." she muttered again around the tears that flowed freely down her face.  
He had been in the room, off to the side, in Sickbay, was it just a week and a half ago? Finally Will Riker knew, at least, who Deanna was talking about...  
" I know..." she struggled to sit up and then to stand up, she needed to get as far away as she could...  
"No you don't! No one does... Not one of you has ANY idea how I feel or what I'm going through or anything!" she was nearing the edge again, she could feel it in herself. Will was just trying to help, but he had no clue what had happened to her over the last couple of weeks.  
"Deanna, have you talked with anyone about this? Have you gone to Dr. Pulaski for anything to help wit..." she cut him off suddenly, getting up and beginning to pace as she did, "With what? Depression? Post partum? Whatever that means... No i haven't talked with anyone. I want even going to talk with you accept you wouldn't let me alone!" he sat there, watching as she paced the length of her living area. Finally, he couldn't take it any more so he rose from the sofa and stood in front of her. "Deanna..." nothing. "Dea? " still she refused to look up at him. Pushing the exasperation out of his emotional pallet, Will cleared his mind and sent to her... At least he hoped it reached her... "Imzadi... Help me understand... Please." her eyes widened, she finally looked up into the bluest eyes she had ever seen and it broke her... Finally... Totally... She broke... Crumpling to the ground, the best of the best in psychology that Starfleet had to offer, broke.

"Ssshhhhh its all going to be ok." he tried to sooth the love in his arms. Once the sobs had dwindled into hiccups she became more coherent.  
"I loved him... He was my baby..." "honey..." but he stopped as she began again. " I felt him, in here..." she indicated to her head... " as well as here..." her belly, " and here..." her heart. " I could never have..." she couldn't even finish the thought.  
Will remembered the meeting in the lounge the morning everything changed. He was shocked and then angry and then worried all in the span of a few minutes. The new CMO, who hadn't even been introduced to the senior staff yet, was explaining to them the cold facts about the unusual circumstances surrounding Deanna's pregnancy. His eyes nearly popped out with astonishment when she informed the captain, and in essence, all of them that she was going to have that baby...  
So lost in thought, he didn't seem to notice that she wasn't in his arms anymore. Deanna had gotten up off of the floor and was heading for her bedroom. After a moment or two, Will got up and wandered in that direction too.  
She had gone into her bathroom and had been in its confines for quite some time before emerging again. Deanna had stripped off her jumpsuit and donned a white lace dressing gown, her cascade of curls spilled freely down her shoulders unencumbered by a hair fastening. Once he had stopped staring at her through lust filled eyes, Will noticed the red puffiness of hers. "Deanna... come here." he rose from where he had been sitting on the edge of her bed and gathered her into his embrace once more.  
"I can't feel anything any more..." she mumbled into his broad chest. "Its as though everything is meaningless now. I sit and listen to my patients, and I try to focus, really I do... But its all just whitenoise to me. I know that I have missed about half of what the captain has been saying to me and Data keeps asking me questions that I just can't answer..." at this last statement Will wondered what Data had been asking that she could not answer.  
"He wants to know how my paracortex is functioning without the constant knowledge of the child being near me." the commander had to smile slightly at the androids technical mannerism. "What DID you tell him?" "Nothing, I could never describe this... emptiness isn't even the right wording. Oh Will, I just... I just want to be with him... To have him with me again. I don't want to feel like this any more." William Riker had faced loss before, had known the torments of grief and at an early age too; but he had no knowledge, no map for this journey his beloved was on. Suddenly, an idea came that might just aid the floundering gentleman in his quest... He unwrapped himself from Deanna and stood up, then without warning shed most of his clothing. 

"What are you doing?" she nearly dropped off of the bed in shock. "I remembered a young psychology student teaching me about nude therapy or something like that..." "That was a long time ago Will and you knew I wasn't serious... What are you doing now? " she was completely uncertain as to his intentions. As if sensing her discomfort, Will quickly began explaining his meaning. "Deanna, after I started noticing the changes that had been taking place with you, I sorta contacted your friend Chandra on Betazed. I didn't tell her about Ian but I did tell her that you were starting to worry me. She...she told me about this ritual that is very old on your world. I think she pronounced it... Xazadan or something like that... I want to try it, I want to truly understand Deanna. Please let me try to help."  
"Will... I don't think this is a good idea. I don't even know if it would work..." she began but he was not going to be deterred. "Deanna, we won't know unless we DO try, and you have to admit that nothing else has helped you deal with this. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting as was her norm when faced with something overwhelming... And she was definitely overwhelmed. There she was sitting on her bed, and he was standing in front of her, practically naked... Wanting nothing more than to help her through this trauma... All of a sudden she felt his strong hands on her upper arms. He was talking to her... "What? What did you say?" cool Alaska sky blue eyes stared back at her. "I was just saying that I didn't want to upset you more than you already are, I'm just wanting to help." he was telling the truth, all he wanted was to understand and help her.  
"You have no idea what all is involved with this, Will, I truly don't know how it will effect either of us and i don't want..." she trailed off and looked away again. Gently, he lifted her chin so she was once again looking at him and said, "don't want what Deanna?" Such intensity, so beautiful she could have drown in those eyes and would have gladly done so... But they had agreed... A physical relationship would only complicate things. They worked together, they were building a friendship but... She suddenly shook her head to clear it of the thoughts running through. "I just don't want to lose the wonderful friendship we have... That's all "  
He moved to where he was sitting next to her on the bed, took her hands in his and smiled. "Deanna, I don't think anything would change between us if we do this; if anything it might bring us closer together..." this thought made them look down at their entwined fingers and then back up at one another. Without saying a word, he cupped the side of her face, her natural reaction to nuzzle against his palm giving more voice than any other as to her answer about the Xazadan. 

The counselor's bedroom was lit only by candlelight, the soft scent of jasmine filled the air. The tall frame of the commander could just be made out from her vantage point behind the bathroom door. Slowly she emerged, her dressing gown had been removed as had all other traces of clothing. He turned at the slight sound of the bathroom door opening, his immediate response evident; working on the breathing techniques Deanna had shown him when they had first met, he was able to face her without embarrassing them both. "Uh... Um..." he cleared his throat, "Chandra said that this was what we needed to set the right setting for this." he stuttered. She afforded him a shy smile in spite of her own unease.  
Both were sitting in the center of her bed, facing one another, hands clasped, eyes closed. They had been in this position for nearly half an hour; their breathing finally synchronized, their souls flowing and melding seamlessly one with the other. "Can you hear me Imzadi? " he heard her melodic voice in his mind. A warm flood of emotions poured into and through the man as he concentrated on sending an answer back to her... "I can..." she smiled at his obvious delight in being able to accomplish this. Slowly, Will began to "see" a soft glow off in the distance. It started out subtle and then began to grow brighter the closer it got to him. At first he was anxious but then he felt HER... the glow he was seeing, he realized was taking form. "Deanna?" he asked. "Yes..." was all he heard before he was taken by the hand and lead down a pathway. "Where are we going?" "You wanted to fully understand what I have been going through, right?" she answered his question by asking another. "Well, yes, but what does that have to do with..." the next words dropped from his lips as he looked around him and noted the pair had been transported to the familiarity of the very bed they were physically sitting on now... Deanna's. As soon as that shock had begun to wear off, he began to feel a warmth enter his body and settle in his very center. He looked down at his middle as if something were inside of him, he then looked to his companion a confused fog clouding his crystal eyes. 

The absolute unrelenting feeling that he needed to relieve himself of everything in his stomach took hold and Will began to vomit... Once he had finished, he wobbled down the corridors to SickBay... "Beverly, I need Beverly..." he heard himself say, but not his voice; it was Deanna's voice. Upon entering the medical area of the Enterprise he asked for the doctor and found the strong arms of a male nurse guiding him to a biobed. A few short moments later an older woman with short cropped hair and bright blue eyes approached him. "That's right, Beverly's gone..." the mere thought caused a wave of despair to envelope him and he began to cry. "There there, its going to be alright. I'm Dr. Katherine Pulaski, its my first day on board but I promise you, whatever is wrong, we can get through it together...ok?" the kind woman smiled at him and handed him a tissue. As he accepted the tissue to dry his eyes, he noted that his hand was tiny and olive in tone and... Oh no! He thought... But he was going to see this through, whatever that meant.  
After enduring the humiliation of not one but two very uncomfortable examinations, it was confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was pregnant. He felt the hot tears running down his face as this revelation sunk in. The new doctor was asking him something... "I'm sorry, what?" he asked, still wiping at the tears. "I was asking if you could remember anything as to what happened." "You mean, you do believe me?" he asked. "I have seen many pregnancies in my time, but none of them was anything like this one. I believe you Deanna... May I call you Deanna or do you prefer counselor, counselor Troi? " "Deanna is fine."  
The next thing he knew, Will Riker was being lead along the corridor towards the Ten Forward lounge by Dr. Pulaski. The two sat at the table in the center of the grouping of tables near the windows. The friendly, warm El'Arian hostess came to the table and, without asking their order, handed him a cup of some kind of hot tea and the doctor a drink as well before gliding away to tend to the rest of her guests.  
"We have to go to the captain, you will only be able to hide this for a few more hours and then it will be only a matter of time..." she let the rest fall away as those blue eyes studied her young companion. She suddenly took Wills hand in her own and, in a motherly tone said, it will be alright... I promise you, whatever happens, I will be there for you." this revelation gained her a small smile before the strong sense of the captain approaching caused Will to look in the direction of the doors.  
Captain Jean Luc Picard approached them, began to chastise the doctor and promptly got told to sit down... After he got the brass facts of the situation for himself, he informed both of them that they were to report to the observation lounge immediately; after which he called the rest of the senior staff for an emergency meeting.

Never before had Will felt to vulnerable and alone, never had he felt so scrutinize and... Judged as he did in the span a fifteen minute briefing. At first he had been shielding himself from the emotions of the others, but he couldn't force away the emotions he himself had thrown at Deanna in that meeting. At one point he thought he could actually "hear" the child growing within him...he gently touched his belly in a protective manner as the others around him discussed what he should do about the unplanned pregnancy... All of a sudden he was pulled from his thoughts and heard himself talking to the captain. At the end of his statement, the captain ended the meeting and everyone rose to leave, he jumped up and practically ran from the room.  
A couple of hours passed as he stayed within the confines of Deanna's quarters. He tried to relax, to get the sick feeling to leave his stomach but it seemed the only way that was going to happen was to succumb to it... So that's what he did. After washing his face and taking a couple of deep breaths he felt the baby move and his hand gently rested on his, now, very swollen belly. "Soon you will arrive and then so many questions will be answered." he cooed to the child growing inside of his belly.

"Deanna? Are you still here with me or have you abandoned me?" he thought to himself as he tried to relax in Trio's quarters. Every time he would think he could rest, however, the baby would cause him racing to empty his bladder. He was tired... So tired and he couldn't get comfortable in his own skin. More than that, however, were the emotions coursing through him. The uncertainty of what was about to happen when this child did come into the universe. Fear that perhaps it was a dangerous situation he had put himself in as well as his crew. Shame...shame? Why was he feeling shame about any of this? That's when he heard Deanna's voice coming from his lips. " I know its the 24th century, little one, but this isn't how I imagined I would become a mother. I so hoped that..." her voice trailing off, a fresh flood of tears cascading down her cheeks. "What? " Will wondered, "what is it that she really wanted?" as if in response to his unvoiced question, he again heard his beloveds voice coming from his own lips. "I so wanted for him to have been your father." the baby moved in response closer to the hand resting gently on the swollen belly.  
"Data, could you help me get to SickBay?" the pressure in his lower abdominal area was near overwhelming but there wasn't really any pain. The android second officer gently guided him to SickBay... Suddenly, as he was sitting in the birthing chair, he realized how very frightened he was but he was also excited beyond measure to meet this little boy. He also realized how very much Deanna had wanted him there beside her. During the next phase of giving birth his entire focus was on the baby and he realized that somehow he was actually feeling, at the very least, all of the emotions of the process that went coursing through his Imzadi. Suddenly a tiny yet lusty cry emerged from between his feet and even though he couldn't yet see the child, the feelings of relief and joy and overwhelming love flooded his senses. Crystal drops of liquid fell from his eyes as the doctor handed him the baby and told the security detail they could come into the room.  
Anxiety and anger, a protectiveness over the child in his arms overshadowed the euphoria of a moment ago as the Klingon and his men entered the room. He heard the doctor make the statement that it wasn't a threat it was just a baby. From somewhere behind him he felt a presence draw near. It was him, he realized. The sensations emanating within Deanna as he came to her side made Will realize just what might be at stake. He somehow sensed her silent plea in those moments because he told Lt. Worf that he wouldn't be needed. He looked back down into Deanna's eyes as she mouthed "thank you ". He heard himself whisper in her ear that the baby was beautiful, just like his mother. Upon hearing the sentiment and feeling the gentle kiss on his cheek, an absolute contented warmth filled his inner being.  
"Thank You Doctor, for everything." he said looking up at the new CMO of the Enterprise. "There's nothing to thank me for Counselor, just take good care of this gorgeous little guy." then she looked up at Will, " Commander, as soon as she's up to it, would you like to escort the counselor back to her quarters? He paused for only a moment, looked down into Deanna's eyes; he could feel what she was feeling, the anxiety, the desire, the fear, the love... All of it. In the end, however, he had asked Data to do it saying he had to be on the bridge. That was the last time he saw the baby.

Riker had expected the tiny cries of an infant to wake him the next morning. He had risen a couple of times in the night to feed the child, an experience all in its own. When morning came and there were no cries, not even sounds coming from the cradle next to the bed, he rose in a panic. The baby was gone! "Oh gods, Ian! " he cried. Within moment a fully dressed child of nearly four years of age came into the room. "Yes Mommy?" He responded. Riker fell back to a sitting position on the bed, reaching for the boy. "How? Ian are you alright?" He asked. "I'm fine mommy... everything is ok, no need to worry." He would say these same words to the captain a little later in the day. Riker wasn't sure Deanna believed them any better than Picard would. She knew something was very wrong with this situation but she also had known the being she knew as her son was not a malicious threat. 

"Are you beginning to understand now Imzadi?" He heard Deanna's mental voice in his soul. "I think so Deanna, but show me the rest. I want to know what you are going through as well as what already happened."  
Deanna then led him through the rest of that day. When she had dropped her son off at the nursery, he was a happy little four year old... at least that's what he appeared to be. She had been gone only a couple of hours in order to see to a few patients. When she returned to the nursery, however, she found in the place of her little cuddly four year old, a taller, older child of maybe 8 or 9.  
Caution, sadness and love filled Riker' s entire being. What was making him grow up so fast and why did it fill him with dread? "Come on sweetheart, it's time to go." Riker heard himself say as the child wrapped his arms around the slender waist of his mother. " I like it here mommy." he had replied. " I thought you might. Now say thank you to Ms. Gladstone for having you and let's go get something to eat." The boy thanked the teacher, who, Deanna could sense was baffled and frightened by the boys changing appearance. Was everyone going to react this way to her child? He hadn't done anything to warrant their fear and distrust, but then again, niether had she and there would always be those who.feared her because of her empathy... she sighed heavily as she prepared food for her son.  
We really are very similar in that aren't we Little One?  
Dinner went just as it had before, Will felt just as Deanna had when the boy had harmed himself and began crying... like a mother lion protecting her cub, especially after Capt. Picard made it clear that he didn't trust her judgement in trusting this unknown being so completely.  
The core source of her pain racked him with the most intense feeling if broken heart he'd ever known..bedtime and the beginning of the end. 

Will didn't want to relive those moments but he had to, he had to finish this. Deanna, sensing his hesitation, responded..."We don't have to go here Will. You've seen everything else. You now know, you understand..." "Take me Deanna, I want to feel exactly what you did in these moments. I need to know so that you're not alone in this." He meant it, he loved her, she knew he loved her but she wasn't certain she coukd handle this again... she had started this, however, and she had to finish it.  
"I have to go now mommy." He heard the soft voice of Ian, almost like it was through a haze.  
"Leave? You're going to die! No, you can't! Ian! Ian no!" Pain, panic, horror, fear and a hole in his chest deeper than even when his mother died.  
He felt certain that his heart was about to burst from his chest. Hot tears seared their way down olive skinned cheeks as the glowing ball of light that had once been Ian Troi settled into his palms. He heard a voice inside his head that he'd never heard before and yet it didn't seem intrusive or strange. The voice said that he was a being born of space and that when he'd passed the giant vessel he had been curious and wanted to know as much as he could. He had found the most peaceful and loving creature and chose her for his mother. He thanked him and told him that he'd never meant any harm. Without thinking, Will replied just what he remembered Deanna saying she had told the being, that they would miss him. He heard the others in the room leave, he knew that he had left too but untill this moment had no idea what that meant to his Imzadi. 

Suddenly the hole that had been punched in his chest from the loss of the child widened and deepens even further, abandonment, betrayal, a hurt unlike anything else he's felt yet settles in...  
"Oh Ian, my precious one, why did you have to leave me? Why? And Will, you couldn't bring yourself to stay for just a few more moments? Your relief at his departure was palpable bit I would have thought that you could handle at least a little comfort..."  
Before the tirade could come to its end, Will pulled away from the link that he shared with Deanna, at least the thread that they had made for this ritual. A sound nearly like a popping of a bubble rang throughout Troi's quarters, a brilliant light exploded and then fizzled into nothingness and the two people sitting on the bed nude gasped for air as though they had been deprived of it for days.  
A long silence fell over them as both took in everything that had just been revealed. Deanna recovered first, the tears that had never been far from her were now threatening to once again course from her lovely eyes. She unfolded her legs and began attempting to scoot off of her bed when a strong yet gentle hand wrapped around her wrist.  
"Please let me go." The whispered plea falling from her lips onto deaf ears. "You know I can't do that. Deanna..." for the first time since she'd known this man who sat in the center of her bed, she realized that he NEEDED her to be angry with him.  
"Talk to me... yell at me, hell throw something at me! Deanna..."  
"You said that you wanted to completely understand what I've been going through." He sniffed, as the large man had also been fighting tears. "Yes I did." " Do you think you undersrand now?" The regal beauty had successfully gotten up from the bed and wrapped a silky robe around herself. She stood a few paces from the bed's side where the man sat. "I think I might understand some things a little better, yes. But I realize now, there was so much more to what you've been through than what I thought." He'd been staring at the floor rather than at her, not being able to bare those depthless orbs that he could so easily drown in  
.The petite brunette stepped across to the bedside taking his bearded chin in her shaking hand. Lifting it so that she could see as well as feel what lay behind the misty blue of the man's azure eyes, the empath in her wept at what she found there.  
"Deanna, I am so sorry... I know that doesn't help, but please believe me, I wish more than anything right now that I could take the pain away." He buried his head in her tiny middle, breathing in the sweet scent of her, that floral, slightly spiced scent that always took him back to the Jungles of Betazed. She stroked his hair, soothing the man who had come to console her. She smiled slightly at that thought being as it was and wasn't typical of the Enterprises First Officer. He finally lifted his head, she wiped his tears and they both tried to speak at the same time.  
"Will..." "Deanna..." "Sorry, you go first." "Will, why don't you go replicate something comfortable to put on and we can go sit in the living area and talk, ok?" He nodded. She left him to his dressing while she went into the other room. A few short moments later her favorite person on board came into said room clad in a pair of silky blue lounge pants and a short sleeved top made of the softest fabric she had ever felt.  
"May I join you or is the sofa not large enough for us both?" She scooted herself just enough for the large framed man to sit behind her and stretch out so she was laying on his chest.  
They were both quiet for a few long moments, Riker gently cradling Troi on his chest as she listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. "I heard him..." she nearly whispered. "What?" "I heard Ian when he was inside my body. His heartbeat... so steady and strong but also fragile. He needed me Will. He needed me to protect him." As she spoke, even though there was nothing there, Deanna subconsciously stroked her now flat middle. Riker noticed this but said nothing for the time being. "Protect him? From what sweetheart?" He felt her shift to where she could look up at him. "All of you..." his expression changed to confusion and then to realization. "Because of the meeting in the lounge?" "Yes, I had to make sure no harm came to him."  
"Deanna, you do know that my only concern was for your safety, don't you?" She laid there, atop his broad chest, listening to his breathing, connecting once again to his mind and soul. A bright beautiful rainbow surrounds her inner being with warmth, light and love. "I love you Deanna, I just wanted to protect you. I never wanted to hurt you, Imzadi." She felt the core truth of his words. Suddenly, as if a weight had been lifted from her chest, the pain that had been with the counselor since the day her child had left her, was gone. In its place was a warmth, a feeling like when she had held him for the first time, heard him laugh or discover something new. "You ok?" Will asked. The large man had felt in his soul the shift of emotions coming off the slight woman who laid upon him. She smiled through fresh tears, years born not of pain but of peace.


	2. present day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Deanna on Titan

"Hey..." he rubbed his hands up and down her back, gently trying to wake his bride. "Deanna....it's time to get up." a mumble from under the sheet that Will had thrown over them the night before. " Mmmm... Looks like you're already up. " she teased, a mischievous glint in her dark eyes. It was quite obvious that having her luscious body draped over his had had a stimulating effect on him.   
Deanna had rolled off of him, propped herself up on one elbow and was currently admiring his strong manhood in its erection. A low chuckle rumbled from fdeepwithin his chest as he watched his love lick her lips in anticipation the same way she did when presented with anything chocolate. "Whaaat? Are you laughing at me Riker? " she giggled into the kid he offered.   
The raven haired beauty slid down his long body until she came to hover just above the object of her yearnings; surprising her mate by suckling and licking on his dick, starting at the hilt and licking up to the tip then back again for several laps. Will nearly lost his mind as she sucked on his tip, flicking it a bit like he did on her clit when he was loving her like she was now doing to him.   
He let her go till he couldn't take any more... It was time to give her what she was asking for.  
He wrapped strong arms round her, reversing their vantage points, the stunned counselor now benieth him. He was more than ready, but he had to make sure his Imzadi was as well. "We both have to be on the bridge in less than an hour." she began before a hot moist mouth captured her perfect lips in a searing kiss. He then began to suck on her tongue, something he knew would elicit a soft moan and get her wet and ready quickly if they were in a hurry.   
"I think..." he started as he dropped sweet kisses from supple bressts, first taking one and then the other in his mouth to softly suckle for a minute. "Your commanding officer..." kissing his way down to her fit stomach, tonguing her navel; a melodic giggle coming from her soul. " the sensations of his hot breath and cores beard brushing against soft, supple flesh caused goose bumps to break out all over the Betazoids lush body.   
"Will... " she panted quietly. He had reached the apex between her slender thighs and had begun passionately kissing her lips, lapping occasionally at the warm juices at her core. At first he simply teased, but she wanted him to take care of her...she NEEDED him and she needed him RIGHT NOW.   
"What do you want my love?" he asked in between laps. They knew one anther's bodies as well as they knew their own so he knew what she wanted...what she needed....he just wanted her to say it out loud. He had stopped licking altogether, a move that frustrated the goddess benieth him.   
"Will Riker..." "Yes..." "Please. .." "Please what?" at this, something in Deanna snapped. The petite beauty took matters into her own hands...literally.... She pulled her love back onto the bed, laid him on his back, making sure his member was still erect before settling on him, her hot, wet canal spurring him into action.  
Riker ached to just take her, flip her over and drill into her for all he was worth, but he didn't give in to those impulses. Instead the man stilled his pounding heart and waited for whatever Deanna was going to do next. She had never been so impatient before but her husband was curious enough to let her go.   
Slowly, at first, she rode him, rocking back and forth, just letting him slide in and out, then she quickened the pace, riding him like a horse, impaling herself on him in a pleasurable pain. She needed a good fuck but she also had a purpose so she wanted them both to be physically as well as spiritually attune w one another as they climbed the climax together.   
Just before they both fell off the edge, Will reached for her, drew her down to lay flush against him, rolled with Deanna now back on bottom as he took up the pace she had set. He wanted to last much longer, and it had been a while since Deanna had woken up feeling this way, but theywere on a tight schedule so Capt. Riker rode his bride hard, both climaxing together in a shower of colored light dazzling their vision for a few seconds after.  
They remained still for a momrnt, allowing their initial quakes to subside before he rolled off her, pulling her with him so she wad now, again, laying along his tall length.   
"I could wake up to THAT every morning. " he sent to her as neither one could speak. A smile graced his bearded face as he heard her responding giggle deep in his soul. "I bet you could." "It's nice to see you happy again." she lifted her head from its position atop his salt and pepper fuzz. "You bring me great joy Imzadi. How about one of your famous omelets before work?"   
Deanna was attempting to steer her husband away from the ancient history they had been discussing the night before, a subject they thought they had worked through long ago; had it not been that the couple were going through some struggles in their current life, the subject of her first child wouldn't have come up. A dark shadow replaced her bright smile when her husband didn't respond right away about the food. A soft sigh escaped, "loosing our first little one was heartbreaking for us both and we will both miss him forever...but I'm ready to maybe try again...I mean if you are?" a whisper of a thought flattered between the two lovers "Are you happy?" she tenitively asked. "You mean you can't tell?" he nearly chuckled again before he realized she was serious. In a more somber tone, Will sat up, helping Deanna adjust to sit on his lap facing him. "I want so much to give you the life...the family you have desired. I just don't want you to think that I am trying to push you I to ..." she put soft slender fingers to his lips to silence his words as well as his thoughts. "Are. You. Happy?" she needed that answer before they continued. "More than I feel I have the right to be." he sent to her through their special link. A glowing bright smile graced her lovely ethereal features, lighting up onyx colored eyes that told a story all their own. He caught it and asked, "Deanna?" "I think we should make an appointment w our new CMO." she whispered,her left hand gently resting on her still flat belly.


End file.
